Fewer things affect us as deeply as friendship. When we are going through a difficult period-life transitions, serious illness, loneliness, divorce, relationship issues-there’s relief in knowing somewhere close by or even a phone, text, or video call away is your friend. Alternatively, when a friend breaks your heart, betrays you, doesn’t support you or hurts you in some way it is a piercing pain. Why? Because it is our friends with whom we often share our deepest pains and our greatest joys. Our friends know our hope and dreams. They know where we’ve messed up and where we desperately want to grow. A friendship well preserved is truly water for the soul.
In times likes, where we are in the middle of a pandemic and life is full of such uncertainty and fear-we need good friends. Friends who are interested in your well-being and how you are coping and processing everything happening. This is a good time to decide to be a good friend. As I’ve gone through life and have benefitted deeply from authentic, life-giving friendships, there are some characteristics I believe should be shared in a reciprocal healthy friendship.
Covid-19 has given us an opportunity of time. Time to evaluate our relationships and where they stand. Particularly a chance to ask the question-the people I have around, are they supposed to occupy the space they’re in? Do they provide for me the true context for the word I have bestowed up them?
Here are some characteristics I believe we should look for in our friendships. We can even use these to determine the people we allow in our most intimate circles and evaluate them accordingly.
They help you see challenges as opportunities: In other words, they help you turn your lemons into lemonade and make the best out of the most difficult circumstances
They use their resources to help you: No one wants to be around someone stingy or selfish. The people you have around you should have open hearts, hands, and minds to give of their themselves when you need it most.
They help you ignore the negative people around: The people you have around you don’t contribute to the messiness of life, they help you rise about the negativity, they don’t join in.
They care about your future: Friends and those in your inner circle should be people that refuse to let you simply live for the here and now. They challenge you to plan for the future and make decision not just for temporary satisfaction but long-term gain and benefit.